Brief Update

Filed Under News, Rants

Hey all,

Just a quick update with where we are at atm.

New Rants:

Barclays :

Took 14 days to change a fax number – a freakin’ fax number. How hard is it – really? Not one, not two, not three … not even SIX different people could solve this monstrous conundrum within a fortnight. In the end the seventh person I spoke to, in a completely unrelated department said “Oh, your fax notification number is wrong then … let me fix that up for you now”.Tappity-tap-tap.

WTF? Seriously. WTFF? 6 other people… including my relationship manager could not manage this. How freakin’ stoopid do you have to be to get a job as a relationship manager at Barclays?

Inability to return calls – check.
Inability to answer any question – check.
Inability to locate correct field on Customer Details form – check.
Inability to walk and chew gum … You’re hired.


Sky :

Sky Sales : Yes Mr bb … no problem … we can do that for you.
Sky Installer : Not a freakin’ chance pal.

Spot the difference? And if you think I’m phoning you on your national rate line to tell you that my direct debit information is incorrect, you can guess again you idiots. You’ll call me soon enough when the money doesn’t go through.

Mr Half-Screw :

I fear Mr Half-Screw may become a bit of a regular in my blog. For he is the gentleman whose house I bought. For he is the gentleman who thinks that the fact that the number of holes equals the number of screws supplied is a bizarre coincidence. Photos will be uploaded to shame you … I promise. DIY to Mr Half-Screw is a complete mystery – a dark art practiced by those with ties to the Devil himself.

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick – you even managed to put the front door knocker on upside down! And there is a good 10″ of screw hanging out the back. And at NO POINT did this strike you as even slightly odd! I have yet to find one thing with the required number of screws. What were you doing with them? Eating them? Hording them to construct a spaceship? Maybe you were going to construct a large pyre to make a sacrifice to appease the God of DIY? Did you think they were secret spy things that transmitted radio waves that were the voices you heard in your head?

I swear I think you administer the OneTel mail servers.

You’ll be getting your own post soon. And Mrs Half-Screw, the hyperactive lady who seems to think that Mr bb is a cash machine who has moved into their new house. Not content with raping me over the price of the heating oil you left, you have now tried on 3 separate occasions to sell me your tumble drier. For £50. Without telling me anything about it. ANYTHING. Just “do you want it then?”. “Ummm … no. Randomise(age, model, type, condition, size) returns NO”. Now stop asking! And switch to decaf or something. Maybe Valium.

And Mr Half-Screw left a freakin’ tag on my line so I am now driving 60miles a day to work since I can’t get broadband at home. Cunswup.


Why bother. Please see other posts. You need to fire Mr Half-Screw, Network Admin extraordinaire and find someone who has a clue. Well at least more of a clue than your current admin. Maybe try asking some Amish – they are already light years ahead of your current admin. Seriously.

British Telecom :

When I call up to ask about purchasing a second business line into the house, perhaps the best way of serving this request is NOT to leave me on hold for 45 minutes and then transfer me to the wrong department. Just guessing though. I’m basing it on the fact that I am now NOT getting that line from BT. But I am just guessing – as I say.
That is that for now – unfortunately blogging on a tiny laptop keyboard is harder than it should be … especially when you are frothing about what you are blogging about 🙂

See you soon.